Caring For The Rest Of Your Family, Too

Fathers

While you are pregnant, the baby’s father is also sort of pregnant.  He, too is going through changes, anxieties, fears, doubts, joys and stresses just like you! Plus he has to deal with your mood swings.

Try to include your partner in the pregnancy as much as possible. This can be one of the closest emotional times in your relationship, so take time to discuss your expectations and fears. Go to birthing classes together, and try to make your partner a part of your daily exercises, especially your evening walks. Bring him along to see us and encourage him to ask all the questions he has about the pregnancy. Also, try to maintain your physical intimacy, including sexual intercourse. If intercourse becomes uncomfortable, or if you stop for medical reasons, find other ways to express your physical love.

As always, communication is an important aspect. Your partner may feel left out and not really a part of things once you’re pregnant. He may worry about how the baby will affect your love for him. Talk about the fears, concerns and delights both of you are experiencing. Pregnancy is not just a special time for you alone. And, because it can help strengthen your love, it is a special time for your relationship. After all, you both have high expectations for your new child.

Other Children

If this isn’t your first child, give other children advance notice about the new baby. They will become curious as your belly enlarges. Depending on the age of the child, you may want to tell them some of the facts of life. There are so many good books that tell “where babies come from,” that we won’t try to cover this subject here. Get some books and sit down with your child to read them together. Don’t take their fears lightly. They may feel left out, too, and have questions and worries about their position in the family. They need to be reassured before and after the birth that they are still loved.

Don’t tell your children how great having a baby is going to be. Tell them the truth! Babies are a lot of fun and a lot of trouble, too. They cry. They are messy. And, still they are wonderful. Prepare your children for the reality of having a new baby in the house, and there will be less room for fear and resentment. Ask your child, “How do you feel about this baby? before and after the birth. Then just listen. And, don’t say, “That’s silly,” or “You shouldn’t feel that way.

Children usually have very mixed feelings about a new baby. Try including them in the pregnancy by letting them help buy baby clothes, paint the nursery and plan for the baby’s arrival. Don’t be shy about your body. Let them see how it is expanding. This is a beautiful experience, so don’t hide it. Ask us about an appropriate time to bring the older children to our office so they can hear the baby’s heartbeat.

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